Sunday, August 28, 2016

Your Cable Guy and You-Things your installers wish you knew

Written by: Mikhael Sublett

     We all have a love/hate relationship with the cable companies. Like a scorned lover we complain incessantly about them. We slander the providers and hate ourselves for needing the 200+ channels of nothing to watch. God forbid we lose service while watching a ball game or the season finale of our favorite show. Even while waiting for installation, we are already contemptuous, believing the delusion that our installer only has our house to hook up.

     I often wondered what it was like to be an installer. I was pretty sure it was never easy to deal with cable subscribers. After all, we are conditioned to have such disgust with any telcom provider and I am sure that carried over to the installer. I caught up with a few cable installers and asked them about their jobs, and more importantly, what they wish we knew. Here are a few responses:

"When I arrive to do your install on a Sunday, don't act surprised that I am here on the weekend. You set the appointment." -William, TWC

"FBI Surveillance Van is not an original,or clever, wifi name. You will not freak out your neighbors with that SSID."-Andrew AT&T

"Don't be suprised that I am here on a holiday. You set the appointment. I am missing family time so you can catch Dexter on demand"-Mitchell, Cox communications

"Don't call me 'Larry'" -Angela, DTV

"Move your furniture away from the wall before I start working. I am a technician, not a moving company." -John, Charter

"Most of the remotes are the same design. From the remotes alone it really doesn't matter what company you go with." -Charles, Time Warner

" Please put your dogs away. I am sure 'they would never bite anyone' but lets not take that chance" -Justin, Dish Network

"A mu mu with nothing underneath is not appropriate attire for me to see you in. Drug use in front of me is also frowned upon."-Jacob, AT&T

"That Jim Carey movie, The Cable Guy, is not entirely accurate. Please stop asking me that.: James-WOW!

"Don't apologize for your messy house. You knew it was messy before I got here. Just make sure I'm not putting my knee in dog crap." -Daniel, Charter

"Yes, we do need training to do this job." -Cassie, Time Warner

"We already know that 'The lady on the phone who told you we would do a 5 story interior wall fish' does not exist. Please quit trying to convince us she does." Mitchell, Consolidated Communications

"When we tell you it can't be done, don't throw a fit. Don't call customer service saying I am incompetent. If I tell you it can't be done it is because it is a safety risk to me and/or a property damage risk for you." - Cody, Cox Communications

"Don't tell us how to do our jobs or freak out because "we touched your couch".- Jackson, Comcast

"Yes, we know it is 2016 and we still don't have wireless boxes" -William, Time Warner

"Your basement is finished. We can not fish a line from your basement to your interior office on the third floor. Call a magician." Carl, Comcast

"Don't expect our internet service is going to work on your windows 95 computer. Upgrade." -Jacob, Consolidated Communications

"We sometimes have to do 12 or more installs per day. Sometimes we don't have time for lunch. On the rare occasion that we get lunch, please don't interrupt it by asking me when your install is going to be. Just call customer service." -Henry, Time Warner

"If you see me in public and I am not wearing my uniform that means I am not working. Do not approach me, especially when I am having dinner with my family, and start complaining that your whole house DVR isn't recording The Walking Dead." Eric-TWC

" It's just TV, nothing to get worked up about." -Mario, COX

     So, there you have it. Your cable guy is just as human as you are. It may come as some surprise, but I bet if we keep these things in mind the experience will be positive for all of us.



Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Suicide Squad-A Massev Movie Review

    Written by:Mikhael Sublett  

           We all love the bad guys. A good bad guy is what makes any story. It doesn't matter if it's summer blockbuster selling out the multiplexes, or a book from the 50 cent bin at your local comic shop, we are attracted to the villain. The most memorable, and best villains, we actually cheer for. When you take some of the best villains from the DC universe and put them into one film, you get Suicide Squad.

         I will keep this review as spoiler free as possible. The film has only been out a week. before I get into the meat of the story, lets talk about the elephant in the room: Leto's Joker. Each actor played the Joker based on their own interpretation. I loved Nicholson's portrayal in Tim Burton's Batman, but Ledger stole the part. Leto brought something to the role that his predecessors neglected, or overlooked completely. That was the Jokers humanity. You see it, if only for a moment, but it is there.  That is what won me over. Leto is a douche, we all agree. However, his Joker works in Suicide Squad, and is horribly underutilized. I understand why this was necessary, as his complete inclusion would overshadow the story. He had to be in the background for the film to work. 

          Now, on to the film. IT WAS SPECTACULAR! The pace was amazing. The casting was spot-on. Will Smith's Deadshot was the perfect anti-hero in this group. He brought a believable performance of an assassin anti-hero with charm that only Smith could bring to the table. Margo Robbie's Harley Quinn was spot on. Sexy, dangerous, and psychotic with eyes only for her 'puddin'. The best part about her character, for me, was that the writers did not forget she is a doctor. Jai Courtney's Boomerang brought some comic relief into the team, and played his role well. My favorites, though, were Diablo and Croc. 

        Jay Hernandez as Diablo was fantastic! He was the villain that took a vow never to use his power. His back story was heart wrenching, to say the least. You instantly fall in love with this character, and cheer him on every step of the way.

         Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje's Killer Croc was beyond description. His makeup was absolutely amazing, making him larger than life. He had, maybe six or so lines through the film, but he's Killer Croc for Christ sakes. He doesn't need a lot of words to get his point across. 

         As I said, this is spoiler free, but the best scene in the film, for me anyway, was the "Fuck it, lets get a drink" scene. The team breaks into a bar, in the middle of the fight, and starts throwing back shots. Trust me, it will be yours too.

     Visually, this movie is dirty pretty from the opening credits to the end and everything in between. Its been more than a decade since I've wanted to purchase a movie soundtrack. It was so well selected that it perfectly punctuated every scene. From the amazing soundtrack, to the chemical kiss scene, Suicide Squad is a must see, must torrent, and must buy. Let me know what you think after you check it out.


Friday, August 5, 2016

KCXW-Kansas City Xtreme Wrestling!

 Written by:Mikhael Sublett

KCXW Pro Wrestling

    Kansas City wrestling fans! There is a new sheriff in town. His name is Jordan Smiley, President of Kansas City Xtreme Wrestling.  July 30th KCXW hosted a double elimination event at Pearson Community Center in KCK. Two separate events, two cards, 14 matches.

     The organization does not use belts to signify a champion. Rather, they use a point system. Each event is worth a determined number, and the competition is between teams rather than individual wrestlers. For instance. When 'The Kingpin" Angel Medina faced off against Kyle King, and won, he didn't just take the point for himself, but for his team. It is a new, and fresh system to determine a champion, and sets the org apart from all other pro wrestling federations.

Captian Shabam
Jason Savior and JC Thunder
  The wrestlers are all incredibly charismatic and sell their personas well. Captian Shabam, dressed in a yellow and black costume taking on the persona of a super hero, instantly winning the hearts and imaginations of the audience. His small stature has one believing in his alter ego as every match is a David vs Goliath bout. Jason Savior, a persona trapped between "Hero" and "Heel", states he is a devout christian in the ring, claims to refuse to cheat, yet always finds that short cut. His match against JC Thunder, in the second event, is a great example. When the referee tells both men there will be no cheating in their match, and manages to break up cheating several times in the same match, the wrestlers turn on the ref. They simultaneously kick him in the balls and leave the ring. That match brought a lot of laughs and entertainment to the evening.

         We also got to see Curtis Wylde put through a table by Curt Gannon and Leo D, of  the Stranglers, from the top rope at the end of the Tag Team Table Match. The audience seemed to love that turn out. There is something special about watching a wrestler get slammed through a table, It is almost as classic as the folding chair.

David Cattin
President Jordan Smiley
          Heels are every bit as important in Pro Wrestling as the Hero. In some cases, I would say they are more important. David "Smooth as Satin" Cattin is a prime example of this idea. He is the wrestler everybody loves to hate. A cross between Chris Jericho and Cobra Commander, and cool simply because his mom says he is, takes the heel to a whole new level. His arch nemesis is not another wrestler. That would be too easy for Cattin. His nemesis is his boss, Org President Jordan Smiley, who flirts with the Heel persona himself. Cattin, the self professed "leader of the pack' is put in a lumberjack tag match by Smiley himself. Smiley also orders the other wrestlers to stand around the ring to keep Cattin from running. The match ended with Cattin losing, and "The Pack" eliminated. Cattin leaves the ring saying he needs to "think about this". Those words left the crowd wondering what Cattin was going to do next, knowing full well that he would not take that loss lightly.


 Then there's the folding chair. The most beloved of any wrestling character. We all love to see it. We all love the metallic thud it makes when someone is hit by it. It is the superstar of all foreign objects. It made several appearances between the two events.


        As the evening continued I found myself impressed by this organization of professional wrestlers. Their moves were fluid and believable. They stayed in a constant state of audience participation, with fights leaving the ring and landing on the floor, or wrestlers answering the hecklers from the ring itself. When the event was over, the wrestlers interacted with the fans. The ego was left at the door. They knew they did this for the people in the seats, chanting or cursing their names.They knew they brought the two hours of magic to the wrestling fans. They were happy and honored to do it.

     KCXW has several events planned throughout the year. The next one will be Sunday Night Takeover II on August 14th at 6:00 pm at the Alamo Drafthouse Takeover III is slotted for September 18, 6:00 pm, also at Alamo Drafthouse. You can learn more about the org from their website by clicking here