Written by: Mikhael Sublett
We all have a love/hate relationship with the cable companies. Like a scorned lover we complain incessantly about them. We slander the providers and hate ourselves for needing the 200+ channels of nothing to watch. God forbid we lose service while watching a ball game or the season finale of our favorite show. Even while waiting for installation, we are already contemptuous, believing the delusion that our installer only has our house to hook up.
I often wondered what it was like to be an installer. I was pretty sure it was never easy to deal with cable subscribers. After all, we are conditioned to have such disgust with any telcom provider and I am sure that carried over to the installer. I caught up with a few cable installers and asked them about their jobs, and more importantly, what they wish we knew. Here are a few responses:
"When I arrive to do your install on a Sunday, don't act surprised that I am here on the weekend. You set the appointment." -William, TWC
"FBI Surveillance Van is not an original,or clever, wifi name. You will not freak out your neighbors with that SSID."-Andrew AT&T
"Don't be suprised that I am here on a holiday. You set the appointment. I am missing family time so you can catch Dexter on demand"-Mitchell, Cox communications
"Don't call me 'Larry'" -Angela, DTV
"Move your furniture away from the wall before I start working. I am a technician, not a moving company." -John, Charter
"Most of the remotes are the same design. From the remotes alone it really doesn't matter what company you go with." -Charles, Time Warner
" Please put your dogs away. I am sure 'they would never bite anyone' but lets not take that chance" -Justin, Dish Network
"A mu mu with nothing underneath is not appropriate attire for me to see you in. Drug use in front of me is also frowned upon."-Jacob, AT&T
"That Jim Carey movie, The Cable Guy, is not entirely accurate. Please stop asking me that.: James-WOW!
"Don't apologize for your messy house. You knew it was messy before I got here. Just make sure I'm not putting my knee in dog crap." -Daniel, Charter
"Yes, we do need training to do this job." -Cassie, Time Warner
"We already know that 'The lady on the phone who told you we would do a 5 story interior wall fish' does not exist. Please quit trying to convince us she does." Mitchell, Consolidated Communications
"When we tell you it can't be done, don't throw a fit. Don't call customer service saying I am incompetent. If I tell you it can't be done it is because it is a safety risk to me and/or a property damage risk for you." - Cody, Cox Communications
"Don't tell us how to do our jobs or freak out because "we touched your couch".- Jackson, Comcast
"Yes, we know it is 2016 and we still don't have wireless boxes" -William, Time Warner
"Your basement is finished. We can not fish a line from your basement to your interior office on the third floor. Call a magician." Carl, Comcast
"Don't expect our internet service is going to work on your windows 95 computer. Upgrade." -Jacob, Consolidated Communications
"We sometimes have to do 12 or more installs per day. Sometimes we don't have time for lunch. On the rare occasion that we get lunch, please don't interrupt it by asking me when your install is going to be. Just call customer service." -Henry, Time Warner
"If you see me in public and I am not wearing my uniform that means I am not working. Do not approach me, especially when I am having dinner with my family, and start complaining that your whole house DVR isn't recording The Walking Dead." Eric-TWC
" It's just TV, nothing to get worked up about." -Mario, COX
So, there you have it. Your cable guy is just as human as you are. It may come as some surprise, but I bet if we keep these things in mind the experience will be positive for all of us.